California Health Insurance Quotes and Blog

California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard had assumed he’d heard it all when it came to warm weather allergies. But Dustin Coughman’s woes went way beyond the pale.

Matt Lockard, a California Health Insurance agent, had assumed he’d heard it all until he spoke to Dustin Coughman, at least as far as warm weather allergies were concerned. Most of the time, warm weather allergies, ragweed, rhinitis, and the like can infest nearby hills and vacant city lots to make his clients miserable, but it didn’t end there. Policyholders had been given the wheezies by such culprits as Russian thistle, or tumbleweed, coastal sage, mug woort, and pig weed, but until Dustin called on that fateful day, he’d never imagined what redroot could do to a human respiratory system, and also to the skin of a grown man.

Dustin sounded positively wretched when he decided to ring Matt up. “Matt,” he began, “May is my bad pollen month.”

It seemed that the only time that Dustin called was when he was in the midst of a bad allergy month. “I thought that April was your bad allergy month.”

“It’s bad too,” Dustin admitted in a pitiful croak which was becoming chronic, “but May is the worst.”

“What are your symptoms today?” Matt asked, attempting to be helpful.

“You don’t want to know,” Dustin croaked again, sounding even worse if that was possible.

“I do,” reiterated Matt, “That’s why I asked.”

There was a pause, as Dustin gathered up remnants of vocal cord, having to sort of bunch them to get his words out. The man’s throat was obviously inflamed. “Matt,” he said, “It’s my throa –“

“I figured that out already,” Matt replied, perhaps a little too smugly, “What are you allergic to in May? Do you even know?”

“Of course,” Dustin re-croaked, although it came out very much like hoarse instead of course, “I know exactly what it is. It was the tea that I had – prepared by Vageena, my well-meaning niece. It had redroot in it – I’m sure of it.”

“Redroot – redroot – redroot tea,” Matt rhymed, sort of, remembering an ancient jingle, then blurted, “Vageena?”  

“We call her Geena,” Dustin re-croaked again.  

“I understand,” Matt said, and he did.

“Can…you…call…,” Dustin begged piteously.

Matt, being the well-versed California Health Insurance agent that he was realized that Dustin was trying to croak “Urgent Care.” Dustin was picked up by a cab.

But later Matt felt a strange compulsion. “Red root tea,” he said to himself, “Gotta have some.”