When COBRA Gets Poisonous
Saturday, April 11th, 2009Johnny Klinger and his wife Marissa each had great jobs at the same plastics plant with excellent bennies. But when each of them was laid off within weeks of each other, their joint COBRA grew fangs and Marissa called in Matt Lockard, a California Health Insurance agent.
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Johnny and Marissa had been an item long before they’d been married. They met at the Amalgamated Plastics factory in Merced and began dating almost immediately. She started as an assistant floor walker and he began his Amalgamated career as a trainee mold pourer. She’d learned to crawl before she walked, and he’d poured pudding as a boy, primarily butterscotch which had been his favorite. Sixteen years later, they both were in management; she as a chief floor walker and he as a mold taster. While both were still wage-earners instead of salaried personnel, their employer did pick up 90% of their health insurance premiums.
The layoffs caught the Klingers by surprise. “It’s the economy,” their boss Mr. Dykstra first told Marissa, and then her man. The withdrawal was painful from an emotional perspective as well as from a financial one. “I hate the taste of butterscotch now,” he opined. Marissa knew the plastic had had something to do with it, it only looked like butterscotch, but she kept quiet. Discretion is the better part of valor, she mused. Worse, besides the sudden lack of cash flow and the drain on their accumulated savings, there was something called COBRA to consider. It cost 102% of their policy at Amalgamated, but now they were laid off and …
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“I’m going to make some pudding. You can pour it dear,” Johnny said. She knew now that something was wrong. This was a crisis. He never lets me pour the pudding, she thought. “I’m going to make butterscotch,” he said. Those ominous words spurred her into action. “I’m calling Matt Lockard,” she said, “the California Health Insurance Agent who’s never been on TV.”
“Why?” Johnny queried.
“Because,” and she wanted to break it to her husband gently, “our COBRA has grown fangs.” She added almost in a whisper, “Matt will know what to do.”
“It’s not like it used to be at Amalgamated,” he said in a genuine whisper.
She dialed. “Is this Matt Lockard, the California Health Insurance agent with the reputation for solving COBRA matters?”
“Yes, COBRA matters,” said Matt, simply being declarative. “I can help.” By the next week, Johnny and Marissa had health insurance again, and the price was reasonable.
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