Alaskan girls spend spring break in sunny California
Saturday, March 21st, 2009When the pretty girls from the University of Alaska at Fairbanks spent spring break in sunny California, only a California health insurance agent could ease their pain.
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Thirteen relatively pretty girls traveled down for spring break on February 2nd from their familiar territory on the beautiful if frigid campus of the University of Alaska at Fairbanks, completing the first leg of their economical journey by dogsled. From Spokane where each said mournful goodbyes to their sled dogs, “Bye Blitzen, Bye Rudolf, Bye Lassie,” the emptied sled pulled by the canine trio trudged back valiantly through the Canadian wilderness, while the baker’s dozen of vacationing Alaskan girls boarded a 747 to LAX. Once they had deplaned, the delicate skin of the relatively pretty girls began to redden. “We’re way too pale,” said Irwoota, in her pronounced valley girl accent, albeit an Arctic Circle valley, voicing the first warning. By the time they’d all stripped down to their bikinis on the gray-sand beach in Santa Monica, and had soaked up about fifteen seconds worth of brilliant California sunshine, the astute Ig voiced a remark that included them all. “I’m really starting to blister now,” she cried mournfully through sun-cracked lips. Back in Fairbanks, they got two hours of very dim diurnal sunshine this time of year, if that. A few minutes later, the chastened group of relatively pretty Alaskans had acquired a hue bordering on crustacean. Collectively thumbing through a local Yellow Book, the baked baker’s dozen had decided to head en masse for the nearest hospital emergency room, when Irwoota suddenly considered the huge bills they’d be bestowing upon their parents back home. “Wait,” said the so sunburned Valley Girl, “let me call a California Health Insurance Agent I know who used to live in Fairbanks. He’ll know what to do.” He did. Instead of the nearest emergency room, the sunburned girls were re-directed to an urgent care facility as a cost savings measure.
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A week later, they were able to leave their darkened motel suite, the drapes closed the entire time, in relative comfort. Luckily they met gray skies and a pleasant cold rain upon their return to LAX.
